This week has been the most crazy combination of so many things… The most amazing highs, and the really awful lows. I have been so happy and my heart has felt so full, but I’ve also been anxiety ridden, stressed, and emotional. I have had one too many emotional breakdowns, but I have been getting up and pushing forward every time. This was the first week the pressure of school, prep, and work really got to me, and all for one reason.
“But haven’t you been with him for like, a long time?” Yeah, I have, but we are long distance. We make our relationship work and flourish over international borders. Greg and I are both very busy people – we thrive off of routine and structure. When two Type A people are thrown off their regular every day schedule, things tend to get a little messy. Regardless of all of this, I really can’t even express how absolutely magical it is to have him here. It’s so surreal. I’m used to the late Face Time calls, the text messages, the check-in pictures. But I’m instead I’m waking up next to him. I don’t need the texts or FaceTime calls because he’s right here. He doesn’t have to send me his check-in pictures to coach because I’m one the taking them for him. Being a “normal” couple for a little bit is really comforting. We get to cook food together, workout together, and do all the things that regular couples get to take for granted on a day to day basis. We get to hold hands in the car, get annoyed with each other, and get lost in each other’s company. Having my best friend and love of my life home is a dream come true.
But… There is a huge “but” in this situation… It’s really, really hard. The stress from adding another priority to my day seems unbearable. I barely have time to get my lift in with work and school and now I have to fit in another priority when I physically can’t. It is an exhausting equation to solve, and we both are struggling to find the balance that keeps us emotionally and mentally healthy. All I can do is think about how I’m going to get this or that done, when I’m going to do it, and how I’m going to be able to see Greg at the end of the day. This anxiety has caused a couple meltdowns, but it’s been okay – Greg has been there to talk me through it every time.
Greg competed in the NPC Gopher State Classic at the Minneapolis Convention Center. It was his second show and the improvement he has made is really unbelievable. Greg’s show weekend was interesting, but I’m not going to get into that. He came home on Thursday and had his shoot with Cory Wilaby on Friday after his first coat of tan. Cory is quite the talented man, and Greg’s photos turned out absolutely amazing! I’m blown away by how good he looks. He has worked so hard and that effort is paying off. On show day, Greg’s class was one of the first to go (Men’s Physique Open A). There were 3 other guys in his class and he placed 2nd! He’s now qualified for nationals twice and he definitely deserved it. He may even be crossing over into another division in the near future….
As for me and my training, I’m doing what I need to do. I’m getting my work outs done, I’m eating my meals, and now I’m just kinda waiting. I’ve been feeling really discouraged lately. I’ve been putting 3 hours into the gym every day and eating foods that don’t appeal to me anymore to not see progress. I’m feeling defeated. I know, I know… PATIENCE. I know it will come, but that doesn’t make it any easier in the current moment, you know? I’m trying really hard to trust Joe and let go of control over my body and how it responds. Easier said than done, but I’m not giving in to these frustrations. Just means it’s time to grind harder!
I didn’t take my usual check-in pictures again… I haven’t been taking many photos of my progress at all because I’m not seeing much “new” things to document. Here a couple photos of where I’m sitting: