One more week until I’M DONE with all of this… I’m terrified for this upcoming week. My macros were dropped immensely and cardio increased. Coach wants me to come in much leaner for this show, and I would like for that as well. I told him I would do what it took, and I guess that means taking things to extremes. **Disclaimer: This is only for one week. This is not sustainable. I know it is not “healthy” or “good for me”… but honestly, not much is in this sport when you’re 1 week out from a contest.** For this week, I’ll be eating 120p, 40c, and 50f. It adds up to approximately 1,090 calories. Again, for this peak week I have full body lifts at high reps and moderate weight… 2 exercises per body part… 2 sets per exercise. The goal for this week with my lifts is to just get a good pump, and keep the muscles stimulated so I don’t lose any more muscle than I already have with this cut. I’ll be struggling through two 40 minute cardio sessions.
Saturday: Today I woke up at 117.4 pounds. I’m 4 pounds over my stage weight at one week out and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried. This IS the morning after my refeed, so I’m not surprised that my weight is up a little bit. Even though I know why my weight increased, still seeing it increase is a little scary at this point… Especially when the goal is to come in leaner and tighter and better in 7 days. Today is the first day of my depletion and new macros. The volume of food I can eat is very different than what I’m used to. It’s not a lot of food. By the time I was done with my workout for the day, I was already down 2 pounds. I went to bed lighter than I woke up – which means tomorrow I’ll wake up even leaner. Today was a challenge, and most of the day I was using up the carbs from yesterday’s refeed. I can’t even imagine how I’ll feel on days 3, 4, 5 of this depletion. I’m really nervous. I know I can do it, but I’m scared.
Sunday: Well… 4 pounds down in 24 hours. After over eating on pizza and bread and ice cream. How does this happen? I’m 6 days out and sitting at my one day out weight… 113.2. It’s also the lowest weigh-in I’ve ever hit. I’m hoping this is a sure sign that I’ll be beating out my last physique. I planned out my day a little better food wise, so hopefully I won’t be quite as hungry. Red is happy, so I am happy. Bad news… He might not increase my carbs coming into the show to fill me out. He said it depends on how I look, but he likes the “flatter” look on me. I think last time we carbed up, I didn’t look as lean either… That could have something to do with it also. The goal is to get me around 110-111 pounds, and at this rate, I feel like I might surpass it. I never thought that would be possible for me. EVER. My only goal is to come in better. Every time I step on stage, I want to beat out my old self. That’s what is important to me. Obviously, I want to do well. I want to win. But I’m not letting that define me and I’m not going to let 5 people’s opinions take away my hard work, effort, discipline, and sacrifice over the past 6 months. A trophy doesn’t validate my worth. I’ll be coming into this show happy and satisfied with my physique, and if I’m proud, and Red is proud, the placement isn’t nearly as important.
What’s fun about these macros with higher fat is that I can fit in fattier meats that I usually couldn’t. Today I had steak AND salmon. That doesn’t happen all too often for me! I also had fruit for the first time this entire prep… No, I’m not kidding. Watermelon. 154 grams of watermelon. It was so good! Most of the day (when I wasn’t struggling through my workout) was spent slothing and laying on the couch and trying to focus on survival. I went to bed around 10:30pm feeling hungry.
Monday: Started my day off strong with a new low weigh-in… 112.2 pounds. I used up the rest of my protein this morning for my waffles, so thank god I have another order on its way to me. I’m sad though because that means tomorrow morning = no waffles. When I’m this low calories, these things matter people! So basically I really messed up today and ended up eating 80% of my calories before 12:30pm. After my second meal, I only had 280 calories left for the whole day. My lack of planning and prep brain prompted that, but I made it – no cheating, no over eating. I have goals to achieve and only a few more days to put in the work. I did my lift with my mom around 1pm and then I drove to Hastings Anytime to do my cardio because I’m a brat and I HATE the cardio machines at RW Anytime. Usually I do my cardio at the YMCA here in town, but since it’s a holiday, they’re closed. I got back to town around 5pm and hung out and sat on Pinterest/Netflix for far too many hours. I was in bed by 7:30pm, and out by 8:30pm. Happy 4th to me!
Tuesday: BOOM. 112. Killing it. I’ve spent the last day or so collecting obnoxious amounts of Pinterest recipes and I spent my morning at the grocery store making some magic happen! I spent like $80 just on ingredients to make all my treats…. I did also buy a few staples and some makeup, but the majority was sugary crap. After my stop at Walmart (really the only place in RW to get everything you need) I bounced over to Fusion where Mary (my boss and studio owner) did some adjustments on my suit bottoms. I decided I’m going to wear my purple suit from my first show this weekend, but I needed to have them looked at. There is a little too much coverage – so we re-scrunched the butt and gave the bottoms more of a “butterfly” cut. They are perfect and I’m really pleased with how they turned out and look on me! I came back home, ate, and then hit the gym for cardio. I’m really tired and I’m really struggling. My body hates me today. Coach told me to back off a bit and stop trying to murder myself in the gym every day – my body physically cannot handle it. Performance is going to be compromised and injury is going to result if I don’t chill out. I can’t lie – my lift didn’t happen yesterday. I just didn’t have the energy to do it, but tomorrow morning I’m going to double my sets to make up for it. The storm tonight was pretty crazy – and I was in the basement for about 30 minutes or so. Electricity is out. Phone is dying. PLZ SEND HALP.
Wednesday: Welp…. and there goes my weight! Lol, up 1.2 pounds this morning but trying SO hard to not let it get to me or defeat me. I look really lean – so it’s strange. I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, so if that means my weight goes up or down, it’s out of my control! I did a double full-body lift this morning and did some posing with my mom. It took me about two hours. I went home and ate (surprise, surprise!) and then headed out to Y to do my first session of cardio. After, I came home and baked my little heart out! Some people are super weirded out that I can bake all these delicious treats and not eat them… But it’s not about the cravings, it’s about finding a distraction FROM the cravings… and for me, it happens to be that. I made cookie butter oatmeal cookies, cookie dough balls, funfetti cake balls, s’more’s bars, and sugar cookie bark. I made a whole tray for my mom and I, one for Tori and Jon, and the leftovers are here for my fam. My mom and I ordered Icon Meals for the end of our peak weeks and to help keep us on track the following week, and they came today! I ordered a plethora of s’more’s cake balls and protein PB&J’s because HELLO they are unreal! I also ordered some different fun meals, like chicken quesadillas, lasagna, and chicken alfredo. I obviously got the chicken and steak because they are MAJOR STAPLES to any competition prep diet. I ate again (my last meal), and then went downstairs in the basement to take on my last sesh of cardio for the day. Red told me to keep my cardio low intensity since my body is just not having it right now… I literally walk at a 3.0 incline at 3.5mph for 40 minutes twice/day. It’s just enough to keep me in fat burn zone! Since I was out of food by 6pm, I had to go straight upstairs to bed after my cardio so I didn’t end up eating the world. I pulled out a notebook, made my to-do lists for tomorrow, and half-watched Mockingjay Part 2 until I fell asleep. Another day in the books.
Thursday: Last day of workouts… Packing… Shaving… Getting everything together… It’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that my 2016 season is over in 2 days. 27 weeks have all come down to this… In less than 24 hours I’ll be on my way to Sioux Falls to close out my season. This morning, I went to the Y to get in last lift and do my first session of cardio. My lift went OK, but my cardio was really tough. Again, all I had to do was walk, but it seriously felt like the most challenging and exhausting feat in the world. I stopped at the grocery store afterwards to grab those last minute things before we left, and I felt like a zombie. I was so weak. I was bracing myself against the cart and it was the only thing keeping me on my feet. My own legs couldn’t support my weight. I was scared for myself – and all I could think of was the fact that I still had to do it again. I got myself home, and the first thing I did was reach out to Red. He said to not do my second session of cardio. This was mentally hard for me to wrap my mind around since I’m 2 days out and “slacking” is not something I do… I expressed this, and Red explained that it’s not “slacking”, it’s not “giving up”… It’s listening to my body and not creating an outlet for injury. My body is fighting me hard, and fighting back at this point ultimately won’t make a difference. I’ve put in the work. I ran out of macros at about 4:30pm, and headed to my mom’s house at 5 to shave my back for me. I stayed until maybe 8pm or so and helped her pack/plan her food just to keep me distracted from the fact I’m about to fast for 15.5 hours.
Friday: I woke up, and the first thing I did was weigh in. Red anticipated me to come in at 111 – and yup, what do you know? 111.0 pounds on the nose. Giddy, excited, and nervous, I took my check-in pictures and popped downstairs to grab my first meal of the day.. An ICON Meals Protein PB&J (my absolute favorite!). Not even kidding, I brought it back upstairs with me and legitimately savored it in my bed while I edited my video footage for check-in’s. Today’s macros are 120p/200c/50f… I split those macros into 5 meals, and I was planning on finishing them by about 5:30pm. Today’s final “peak” is almost completely opposite of what we tried a couple weeks ago coming in for MN State. Not only am I 4 pounds tighter, but I also didn’t do any heavily clothed cardio, no sauna, no salt load, no water manipulation, and no sugary carbs this time. My remaining 4 meals were a combination of steak or chicken, with rice/sweet potato mash and 10g of peanut butter. I was supposed to keep my salt at a normal level all day and I didn’t have to have my water down by a certain time.
My mom and I left town around 9:30am to head to South Dakota and the trip resulted in a million thousand bathroom breaks because I had to keep peeing. We rolled into the hotel parking lot around 2pm and got settled into our room. The hotel was a Sheraton and was connected to the venue and it was really nice – only thing that really sucked was that there was no fridge or microwave in the rooms. Thankfully we knew this ahead of time so we brought an electric cooler and dragged along one of my old microwaves. After relaxing and watching Food Network (my favorite, but my mom thinks I’m crazy), we went down into the lobby for athlete check-in’s at 6pm. I was re-heighted at 5′ 5.5″ and placed in Bikini C with the girls who fell into the 5’4″ – 5’6″ range. This included my mama! I got my competitor badge and number (74) and we went back up to our room to wait until it was time for our first tanning appointment. The people working with Liquid Sun Rayz were awesome – really helpful and absolutely hilarious. This was the same set up as M3 – all of us in the same room (men and women separated) and we each had our own little individual pop-up tent for drying between coats and keeping our flip flops/clothes/phones in. We walked thru the circle of tents naked to the “tanning” tent and then went back in our “drying” tent for approximately 5 minutes or so. Drying SUCKS because there are little fans in our tents and it is so. freakin. cold. I literally dance around and shake like a weirdo just to try to keep warm! After our tan, my mom and I went back to our hotel room to prepare for the morning and rest. I set my alarm for 5:30am and was sleeping by about 10pm. I only woke up once throughout the night, and didn’t even need to pee! For those who compete…. you know how much of a victory this is!