I’m literally just sh*tting my pants at this point to be totally honest. I’m trying SO hard to not over-analyze my body and stress myself out over the feelings of doubt and “not readiness.” It’s a lot harder said than done, but I’m really focusing on doing MY job the best I can and letting my coach worry about the rest. I know that these last few weeks are when the big changes really start to show and things come together… it’s just a matter of having the patience. Which I just really don’t have, lol.
I’m trying to rewind in my head to last Saturday after I published my last post… it was Greg’s show day! He decided to do the NPC Terminator in Tucson two weeks before the contest. He basically just said “F it, let’s just see what we can do.” He still had about 10-12 pounds to lose before he’s conditioned for the stage, but he knew that. He lost about 5 pounds in those 2 weeks just thru diet and cardio, so I’m proud of him. He was in a class of 12 in Men’s Physique A and he received 2nd call outs and placed 9th I believe. I know he’s not happy with that, though. He is so competitive. I think it definitely lit a fire to bring it in for Texas! He’s doing that show with me too if I haven’t mentioned that before?? It was a fun day – after the night show we came home and Greg ate the slutty brownies I made him, some boneless wings, and a a buffalo chicken wrap with fries. I calmly watched him eat it all but on the inside I was secretly dying with jealousy/hatred. We grabbed a dozen donuts from Dunkin’ for him to have for breakfast on Sunday, too.
The next morning we were up at 4am to drive to the airport. Travel days always kick my butt. I’m tired and all I want to do is eat EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. I survived off of protein bars and tuna packets. I got a large coffee once I got thru security and it was literally the nastiest shat I have ever drank in my entire life, you guys!! It tasted like broth. Like soup broth. I don’t even know, but it seriously was so gross. I forced like half of it down and threw out the rest because HELL no. I got back to MN around 2pm and my mom picked me up. She dropped me off at my apartment and it felt so weird and foreign at first… it was basically just a matter of adjusting back to my old “normal” life. Everything was the same and where I left it.. it was weird. I’m still adjusting. I miss Greg, but I’m happy to be back in my regular routine. Monday rolled around and this was a lot of “get yo life together, Katelyn.” I ran errands, got groceries, went to Vitamin Shoppe, etc. I also spent a lot of my morning working on choreography for classes. I’m really glad I was smart and came home a couple of days early so I could do what needed to be done before I jumped back into teaching and “life.”
Tuesday I had the chance to teach again for the first time in over a month. I missed my kiddos and I missed dance in general. It’s my first love – and primarily the reason I ever started getting “fit” so to speak. To my surprise, I had a lot of energy. Typically when my calories are this low and I’m this close to show my energy at work plummets… but I was all good. Probably cause of the caffeine, but HEY I did it. Same thing for Wednesday – more teaching. I was teaching a contemporary audition combo and improvisation classes at Fusion. I taught there this past year as a regular teacher, but I had to step away to committing for the future season unfortunately. I took one of my students with me as an assistant and she acted as my body so to speak. Since mine barely functions at this point, haha. She demonstrated and helped out a TON so I could focus more on watching the kids, giving feedback, and not dying. It went super well, and again, dancing is just really cool. I love it.
On Wednesday morning, I walked into the gym with the intention of doing my regular leg day. I walked in at the same time as Dennis (a trainer and friend of mine) and we started chatting. I hadn’t seen him or talked to him since before I left for AZ. Somehow, we ended up doing an impromptu RPR session and I tagged along during his leg lift and worked in on his sets. I probably slowed him down like crazy, but I’m grateful he let me and gave me pointers and cues along the way. The day after, my entire body was fried not only from the lift but also from the release therapy. He really dug into my abdominal wall, obliques, jaw, and chest. He has really been pushing how much I need to improve my breathing, too. I’m a chest breather when I work out instead of a diaphragm breather. It’s something I’m aware of, but really need to work on because I know it will help my lifts. He dug in underneath my rib cage to release the fascia and it. hurt. so. bad. Everything he does really hurts, but I know my body needed it. During the lift, we did some GHR’s, leg extension targeting my upper and outer quads, split squats w/ a dropset, and some banded hack squats. Every lift we did was not in my usual leg day, but I learned a lot (like I always do) and I’m excited to incorporate what I learned into my every day training.
Yesterday, I had my first posing session with IFBB Bikini Pro Kacy Clark, who trains out of my gym. I already posted about this on my IG, so I’ll keep my commentary to a minimum since this blog is already getting lengthy. It went phenomenal and really helped. We have our second session next Friday to find tune transitions.
SO – time to touch a little less on how my week went and little more on my mental state at this point. My moods turn frequently and they turn fast. The mood swings come at the worst times and I never necessarily know when or what the trigger will be. One second I’ll feeling great, in a very healthy mindset, and then the next second without anything really changing I’ll just hate everything and everyone. I want to be alone, in my own head, and just shut everything out. It’s really annoying and it’s effecting my relationships. I have to give myself someeee credit and say it’s WAY less severe than last season. I’m mentally and emotionally much better. I cried yesterday morning over FT with Greg over absolutely nothing. It’s just where I’m at right now. I’m sensitive and I’m emotionally fragile. Very small things are that much more likely to set me off.
Andddddd last but not least, my check-in pictures and protocol changes. I have 21 days. 3 weeks. I’m at that point where I’m willing to take extremes to get ready for this first contest, and (unfortunately) we have to do just that. *insert internal crying* My focus is narrow and I’m so close to being on stage that cravings don’t get to me at all. Food is low; the lowest it has EVER been. Cardio is high; the highest it has EVER been. But I’m gonna do it and I’m going to give it my all. Show prep isn’t pretty or easy on the body.
My cardio is set at 90 minutes a day, 6 days a week. I intend to break that up into 3 30 minute sessions or 2 45 minute sessions if I’m low on time for the day. Cardio NEEDS to stay chill… I tend to go HAM during cardio sessions, but Red says he needs me to stay in my fat burn zone. It’ll be hard to pull back from giving 110%, but at the same time I know I need to so that I don’t pass out. Cycle is still AAAAB and on low days I’m down to 1080 calories and my refeed day (wait for it) goes up to 1900. I have 250 carbs on my refeed day and that’s more than I’ve had in my life – even during my offseason! Reasoning for this is because I tend to get realllly flat. I’m crazy flat right now, and with macros and cardio like I have, it’s only going to get worse. When I backload, I tend to spill over. SO. Plan is (at least to the extent that I understand) is that we are going to push carbs into me earlier to fill me out sooner… and then taper or increase as we go. Ultimate goal is burn fat. I would like to lose about 5-6 more pounds in the next 3 weeks. Hefty goal, but I’m going to push for it. That’s all for now. I’ll update next Saturday if I’m still alive. Kidding. But not really. Wish me luck!