Cannot, literally CANNOT believe I just typed out that title. I’m 16 weeks deep and this is by far the fastest any prep has ever gone. Though calories and cardio are extreme, my body seems to be tolerating the protocols well. I’m tired, I’m hungry, but my joints aren’t killing me and I’m not a walking zombie… yet. I mean, kind of. I have to give mad credit to the supplements my coach has me taking, though. It’s crazy – I can literally feel when I’m late to taking them because fatigue and that panicky hunger feeling kicks in so fast. If I do ever feel “off,” it’s usually ALWAYS because I forgot to take my supplements. For a review of what I’m currently taking, click here.
My training is suffering, but not too badly. When I’m at the gym, I can imagine I just look tired and depleted and focused, haha. I pretty much live in RBF mode, honestly. I don’t really talk to anyone. I don’t have the energy to. I do my cardio, I finish my lift, and I’m off. I’m not rude to people by any means – I just don’t dilly dally around looking to make conversation, I guess. Besides that, my numbers are just down. I can barely squat 135×10 for 4 sets and my leg press is pathetic. I can’t expect too much given my circumstances so I have to cut myself a little bit of slack. But regardless, watching the numbers slowly climb down SUCKS.
I worked all day on Sunday (which was also my refeed day) so getting all my calories in while sitting in a chair with no real opportunities to get up was tough. I was in Red Wing (my hometown) to judge some dancers for their auditions. My mom and I trained together at my old gym so I was there. It was nice to see her and the carbs were pretty bomb, too. I have 250g… I’ve never had that much in muh life. It was crazy how fast they “ripped” thru me.. I was hungry every hour, I swear. I always hear that for every gram of carbs you consume, you hold 3-4g of water. I don’t know how true this is, but I DO know my body and how it typically responds. I was anticipating to hold quite a lot of water and have the scale reflect that – which it did. On the morning of the refeed, I was 119 pounds. This was a low weight for my prep… next morning after the carbs, I was up to 121.8. Typically a jump of almost 3 pounds would freak me out, but I knew it was water and I just had to wait it out and it would come off. Here’s what my weigh-in’s looked like this week (yes, I still weigh myself daily):
Sunday (pre-refeed): 119 lbs
Monday (post-refeed): 121.8 lbs
Tuesday: 121.0 lbs
Wednesday: 120.8 lbs
Thursday: 118.6 lbs (over TWO pounds AND a low weigh-in!)
Friday (pre-refeed): 118.0 (another low-weigh in!)
Saturday: (post-refeed): 118.2 lbs (hold on WHAT)
On Monday, I did a lot of prep for work and I cooked some food and ran errands. I also trained arms and hung out with Tori for the evening since she was in town on a mini vacation. I love my best friend so much it hurts. She always knows what to say and how to make me feel better. I couldn’t have made it this far in my prep without her.
Tuesday is my only day that I’m working right now. :/ Summer is really tough on dance teachers because when the kids don’t have school, we don’t have dance. There are summer classes, but only a couple days a week to help kids work on technique and stuff. I walked in the studio and my boss (who just absolutely rocks) told me she had something for me. I was super confused. She handed me an envelope and said, “This is yours. You earned this. You deserve this. I know money is tight right now.” I opened it up and it was a check for $1,000. I cried. I didn’t have words. This week has been really hard on me (not because of prep, because of personal reasons I can’t discuss) and it honestly was just the kindest gesture. I still can’t believe it.
On Thursday, I had an RPR session with Dennis and he worked out my upper body. He started with digging (“scrubbing” as he calls it) on my sternum and underneath my ribs. He moved up to my chest and extended the muscle out to my shoulder. I lengthened my sternocleidomastoid, too… here’s the result after he released my left side but hadn’t touched the right. Pretty messed up if you ask me. How does this even happen??? No comprendo.
Friday… my second refeed day for the week! I met up with Kacy this morning to finalize my posing routine. We worked on my transitions, back pose (again since I suck) and a few arms things. She took some footage and I’m actually really happy with how the routine looks. It flows really nicely and I feel pretty confident. I don’t practice in my heels enough, though… like at all. I was like a baby giraffe. I was annoyed with myself… I need to put in some serious time to perfect my posing. I was intending to train (chest/hammies), but holy crap does my body hurt… from yesterday’s release work with Dennis to leg day the day before, I just hurt. My body hates me. I decided to take it as my rest day, and now I’ll be back on the grind with hopefully tons of energy from my refeed!
Just now, I made a to-do list of things I need to take care of before I leave in a couple weeks. It’s a long list. It’s stressing me out… so since I’m taking a rest day, I’m going to take care of some of these things while I have the time to. I’d rather get everything organized now than be scrambling last minute to get muh shit together. Some things currently on my list include:
- Stuff for exfoliation (stupid tan)
- Organize airport ride ( I will not pay 80$ to park my car)
- Buy stick on nails (I don’t bother spending money on nails when the tan ruins them)
- Buy concealer/contour sticks (I do my own make-up)
- Go to Red Wing and get my competition day suitcase (because basic AF)
- Make wax appointment (cue tears)
- Buy hair dye to color my extensions (yessss I wear them onstage)
- Brow appointment (S/O to Jacy at The Brow Studio MPLS)
- Costco trip/meal prep (yay fishy)
- Start packing up my apartment (moving in 3 weeks)
- Send back in wedding contract (yes, I’m getting married fam!)
- Paper cups (to pee thru)
- Shaving cream/razors (can’t wait to shave my own back fml)
- Car rental (because Uber scares me)
And then we have today… check-in day/post-refeed day. So I weighed in this morning expecting a 2-3 pound jump in the scale. YOU GUYS I ONLY WAS UP 0.2 POUNDS! This is sooooo unlike my body, but just goes to show how ready it is to burn the last of this fat. I sent in pictures to Red and here’s the low down: he’s happy. We’re going to keep macros and cardio the same I believe, but after my 4 low days, I’m going to have 2 high carb days in a row.. which means 500g of carbs over 48 hours. Most of these carbs will come from cream of rice, rice, rice cakes, probably some potatoes, etc.. I’m going to keep everything as clean as possible from hear on out. But anyways, the scale staying down is really promising. Red thinks I’m going to see 116 on the scale this week – but that’s quite the jump down. But honestly, every time I’ve doubted something he’s told me he’s ALWAYS right. Last season he guessed my stage weight at 5 weeks out…. aaaaaaand was spot on. His intuition is unreal. Well, I’m off to the gym to put these carbs to good use! Updates to come. Thanks for reading.